No one wants to get divorced. In fact, most people who file for divorce put it off for as long as they possibly can.
While putting off divorce can ultimately hurt you, there is a very real logic to this "separation procrastination.” Behind every unsure individual who's thinking about divorce is a strong man or woman who wants to be 100% sure he or she is doing the right thing.
There are certain decisions that most of us can – and should – go through before we take that final big step.
Have You Sincerely Tried to Repair Your Marriage?
You have tried couples counseling and it hasn't worked, tried talking to your spouse and it hasn't worked, tried therapy or other ways to improve yourself and it's still not been enough. But how do you decide how much is enough?
If you're really concerned about doing the right thing, chances are you have been putting in enough energy. Why then does it not feel like anything is ever enough? The answer to that question often lies with the answer to the next question.
Has Your Spouse Tried All He or She Can?
Many of us believe that our spouse is trying just as hard as we are. This often turns out not to be the case, once we can step back and look at things objectively.
How do you get an objective view of the situation? Seeing a therapist, on your own, can often be a step in the right direction. While a responsible therapist won't make judgments about your spouse (after all, they've never met your spouse), a good one will help you get a better handle on yourself.
You may also want to talk to a divorce lawyer; sometimes just knowing your options is enough to build your confidence and help you sort things out.
There are some signs you don't need a therapist or attorney to see, though. For example, has your spouse refused to go to couples counseling with you? Many are resistant at first, but constant resistance is a sure sign they're unwilling to make a positive change.
This is actually related to one last important thing you should think about, maybe the biggest thing of all
Does Your Spouse Listen to You? Really Listen to You?
Ignoring you until you turn up the heat doesn't count. There are many spouses who are only too ready to listen if they think their significant other is going to leave – who will turn right back into their old uncaring selves once they feel secure again.
Nobody deserves that. If you're stuck in a similar situation click here to talk to an Orlando-area divorce lawyer and take your life back into your hands.